Fiction is an art, and editors must be respectful of that. Typically, the best fiction engages readers in such a way that they fully embrace the alternate universe created by the writer and immediately “get” this other world. There should be no distractions from this engagement, no conscious awareness of the writer due to small lapses in the seamlessness of the prose (awkward phrasings or even something as simple as word echoes, which are distracting) or moments when the writing just goes thud. A good editor will stay true to the author’s personal style, and give a lot of creative leeway, but point out those places where the writing becomes a distraction from the alternate universe of the narrative.
In my years of editing, I’ve noticed a number of particularly common types of distractions in fiction writing. They are:
Telling instead of showing: e.g., “Jack felt happy.” vs. “Jack smiled broadly.”
Providing an overabundance of mundane details whose purpose is to set a scene and create realism but which can be boring for the reader to wade through
Having characters do or say things that are not in character or just don’t make sense, simply for the purpose of advancing the plot
Overusing or underusing dialogue and/or creating dialogue that does not reflect the way real people talk
Failing to use a consistent “voice” throughout
Switching the narrator’s point-of-view from “limited” to “omniscient” without realizing it or switching from one character’s POV to another’s within the same scene
Driving the plot through too many unlikely coincidences
The POV switcheroo is something I see fairly often, and it’s not always so obvious. For example, what’s wrong with this sentence?:
“His hair gleaming in the sunlight as he strolled down the ramp, Jamie thought about how great he looked in his new suit.”
The problem is, if the narrator is inside Jamie’s head and aware of his thoughts, then the narrator shouldn’t also be outside of him and observing that Jamie’s hair is gleaming in the sunlight . . . at least not all in the same sentence. We could revise the sentence to make it so that the narrator is inside Jamie’s head all the way through:
“Feeling the warmth of the sun beating down on his head as he strolled down the ramp, Jamie thought about how great he looked in his new suit.”
Or, we could revise it so that the narrator is outside of Jamie, observing him:
“His hair gleaming in the sunlight as he came down the ramp, Jamie cut a dashing figure in his new suit.”
Anyone who has taken a writing workshop knows that good writing is all about showing rather than telling; nevertheless, so many writers find themselves giving in to the temptation to take shortcuts. Authors, perhaps thinking like journalists, sometimes seem to feel they want to straightforwardly provide their readers with all the information relevant to a scene they’re trying to bring to life. Why beat around the bush? You, the writer, have decided that your character is feeling impatient, anxious, and grumpy, so why not just say, “Karla sat in her favorite booth at the Marvel Café feeling impatient, anxious, and grumpy.”? Well, because it’s so much more interesting and challenging to the reader’s powers of observation to have Karla looking at her watch (or, more likely these days, her cellphone’s time display), saying cranky things to the waitress and then apologizing, biting her nails, rolling her eyes, etc.
Various parts of the human brain are designed to globally take in all sorts of clues from the environment in order to assess and categorize various kinds of situations. The brain “likes” to do this; it’s more fun, more challenging, than simply being told what the situation is. An engaging story simulates this experience for the intelligent reader. The best writers intuitively understand what the brain hungers for and serve up just what this demanding customer will gorge itself on.
About the Author
CARLY CANTOR is a publishing industry veteran who has worked in-house at a New York publisher as an acquisitions editor and is a two-time published author (history books). Most recently, she has worked as an independent consultant and project editor for Random House, Prentice Hall, and iUniverse. She also represents authors as an agent with a well-established NYC agency. Her extensive experience includes critiquing, organizational and development editing, and line editing of fiction and nonfiction projects. She is a meticulous hands on editor who “becomes one” with every project, paying close attention to both the big picture and the small details.
She has often worked with academics, psychologists, and medical doctors on high-level material in the social or life sciences and has helped them make their writing more accessible to a trade audience. One thrilled client, a doctor, said of her, “She is a consummate wordsmith, with the facility of not only understanding and integrating scientific and technical material but also illuminating arcane and otherwise opaque descriptions. She expertly shapes the structure of a presentation for better narrative flow, simplifying complex material to make it reader-friendly.”
Carly also edits fiction, with an understanding of the importance of subtlety and nuance. She approaches fiction with an appreciation for how the brain works and for the idea that a reader likes to pick up clues and figure some things out for himself rather than be told everything directly about how characters are thinking and feeling. One novelist client said, “I have been guided by a number of different editors throughout my career. Without any hesitation, I can say that [she] is the best editor I have ever worked with.
“Carly was indispensable for the birth of my memoir. She helped me to not only tighten my writing but also improve the structure of the narrative to make it more thrilling. I found a very effective, inspirational guide in her ability to culturally translate my experience in Korea for American audiences.”
—Jid Lee, author of To Kill a Tiger (Overlook, 2009)
“My personal experience in working with Carly has been very rewarding. She has the grit to drill down into the material so that nothing is taken for granted. She also demonstrates an intuitive skill to help add an overarching structure to the work that helps expand its scope, further increasing the book’s accessibility to those audiences we wish to reach. Her persistence in getting the content to seamlessly flow from one technical subject to the next is a true gift.”
—John W. Cassidy, MD, author of Mindstorms: The Complete Guide for Families Living with Traumatic Brain Injury (Da Capo Press, 2009)
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